July 27, 2010

Every time Catherine revved up the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour or so...

If you know where that quote comes from, you're officially invited to Thanksgiving at my house.

This last weekend was pretty much a non-stop party at our casa starting Friday night and cruising right on into Sunday evening. Seriously, I don't think I've spent so much money on alcohol in one weekend since I was in college. My cousins were in town, all of SK's siblings and their kids came over on Saturday, and then Sunday we got to hang in the pool with some doctor friends of ours who we don't see nearly as often as we'd like. Damn you, doctor schedules with your 24-hour shifts and life saving-ness...

The weekend kicked off with a very "Friday, I'm NOT in Love" event, which was getting my eyes dilated.


Has anyone had to do this recently? What a miserable experience. I have never had my eyes dilated, so I had no freaking clue what to expect. They tapped the drops in, sat me in a darkened room for a while, shined a bright ass light in each eye for a few seconds, and sent me on my way. With those supa stylish roll-out, wrap-around granny "glasses," of course. I didn't think I needed them, seeing as how I had my own shades and I was only driving 2 miles down the road to my house. I did all right, but DANG it was bright outside! I pretty much wore my sunglasses for the next 4 hours solid, even while sitting in my living room with the blinds down, because the TV was too bright. FOR REAL, y'all. I don't know if you can ever turn down this awesome service, but if your Ophthalmologist ever comes at you with an eye dropper, try your damndest to PEACE THE FUCK OUT.

Just do you know, I didn't just go jack my eyes up for fun on a Friday afternoon - there was a reason.

Ever heard of Ocular Migraines?


- crickets -



Turns out, I get them.

Basically whats been happening is this: Randomly throughout my day, I get craaazy tunnel vision. Like, everything on the periphery goes black and I can only see what is directly in front of me, and even that looks kind of blurry and shimmery. Seriously, it looks like someone threw a ton of freaking glitter into my eyes for about 15 minutes. I thought it was from staring at my computer screen all day, but then one day when it happened, my left hand went numb.


Possible brain issues! I promise I wasn't freaking out AT ALL.

So I go to a doctor and he asks me all kinds of questions, has me do some random balancing tests, checks my eyes, hooks me up to an EKG and takes enough blood from me to satiate Jaws for a week. Also, he schedules an MRI. All come back totally normal. Doctor is stumped.

He tells me to go see an eye doctor and have them fax him their results. Minus the eye dilation (which I told him I would likely never forgive him for) this guy was THE SHIT. Not that First Doctor wasn't nice, but Second Doctor knew I was worried since all the other tests had come back negative and that I just wanted an answer to what the hell was going on with my glittery vision, so Second Doctor took his time and even printed off some info on the condition which he stapled together and presented to me.

Ocular Migraines it is.

But I've never had a migraine, says I.
Um, yeah, you probably have, says Second Doctor.

Turns out, I just experience my migraines waaay differently than someone who has traditional migraines, and to that I say WOO HOO. I have friends and family members who are crippled by the things. I see glitter and have no head pain? No nausea? I can totally deal with that.

As with a normal migraine, no cure. I was told I need to track when they happen and see if I can figure out what triggers them.

Of course, now that I know what the hell is going on, nothing has happened.
Glitter Watch 2010 is in full effect.


bananas. said...

i get dilated pretty much every year. i have some stupid scar tissue thingamajig on my retina so they have to dilate to see in. sucks but i'm used to it.

oh and for some reason it lasts much longer on me than anyone else. i probably shouldn't drive at night when i'm dilated...i look like i'm E-ing balls. gah!

anyway, glad you're ok. ocular migraines it is.

Melody said...

I'm glad Second Doctor was patient and understanding of your concern! Dont you love doctors like that? I hope you figure out what's causing your glitter, but yay, that at least you dont have the "other" migraine symptoms!!

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