July 7, 2010

Do as you please, I'll back you up...

So why not break some rules while doing it?

Wandering off the beaten path is ok. I need to constantly remind myself of that.

Just because people make different life choices than I would make doesn't make those decisions wrong. I need to remember that. I need to keep in mind that I have always done pretty much everything by the book - graduated high school, went immediately to college, graduated in 4 years (and a summer...cough), met SK, dated SK, moved in with SK, and then married SK. All done in the order they are traditionally done in. Minus the moving in before marriage.

So, yeah...I'm judgy.
I try not to be, but I am. I form immediate opinions about people based on their clothes, or their hair, or their shoes. I am usually wrong about these initial judgments, but I can't help making them. I am trying to stop.

Other people do that too, right?


I'm not perfect. Far from it. I need to work harder at really BEING THERE when people call on me for love and support. I am not the most emotional person in the world, which has served me well thus far, but I need to work on being more emotionally present when someone I love needs comfort.

I also tend to dole out unsolicited advice. Frequently.
I need to keep in mind that just because someone calls with an issue or a problem, they might just want an ear to bend. I need to be better at keeping my opinions to myself until asked for them. And even then, I need to offer them up knowing that sometimes people don't REALLY want to hear what I think - they want to hear something to make them feel better about the situation they're worried about.

I'm pretty blunt. SK sometimes calls me "Debbie Downer" from the SNL skit because I call it like I see it and that isn't always from the view of rose-tinted glasses. Friends have come to me many times knowing I will tell them the truth about what I see or feel, but that's not always what needs to be said.

This is not to say that I don't support the choices that my loved ones might make. I may not understand them at first, I may not be sobbing and crying with you when you are making a life-changing decision, but trust that I will come out, fists a'fire if you need me to take anyone out who might stand in your way.

I am trying. I am working on it. I am a constant work in progress.


Chandra Lynn said...

Jesus woman. We are so alike in all of that, it's ridiculous! Hold strong, be a shoulder when it's needed, and what will be will be. Sometimes it really sucks when all you can do is be the spectator. HOWEVER, nothing that can't be somewhat relieved by a bottle of wine and a talk with a bestie ;) xo

Melody said...

Amen! I think everyone walks this fine line, though some may not be aware that the line even exists. At least you see it! That IS progress!! Or at least that is what I tell myself.. :)

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