August 1, 2008


First of all, I would like to make it clear that I blame Angie** for what you are about to read.

Secondly, I'd like to point out the fact that I have just gotten RESPONSIBLE within the last 2 years. Ok, last year. Fine, fine...last 6 months.

Sorry, Mom. This is the truth. Don't cry.

I've never been bad or super irresponsible when it came to most things, but I lived my life in such a way as to be completely unaware of anything going on in the world besides myself and the immediate needs and wants I experienced. What's that called? Oh right - BEING A TEENAGER.

And all that would be fine and great, except for the fact that I haven't been a teenager in over 5 years, so that excuse doesn't really work so well. So let's just get down to business and call this what it is - I am a BRAT.

Now my mother is smiling. Nodding her head emphatically. Looking at my father all, see? She IS self-aware!

It's taken me a while to realize this. The brat-fact, I mean. I never considered myself a spoiled child, but when I think back on it now, I sooooo was. I honestly don't remember ever NOT getting a single thing I ever asked for. Except the dolphin. I'm still bitter about the dolphin.

I always reasoned that I should get what I wanted because I was a good kid. I did well in school, I didn't break a lot of rules, and I had good, decent people for friends. I could talk my way out of virtually any messy situation, and usually walked away from arguments victorious. I felt like trouble just slid right off me.

And then I started driving.

I've rear-ended someone, backed into a parked car, backed into a tree, backed into my HOUSE (are we seeing a trend here?), run over a bird, and have gotten numerous speeding tickets - 2 in one 2-hour drive, even!

However, all that bad driving came to a screeching halt 3 years ago.

NO, I did NOT get my license taken away.

Actually, it was because if I had gotten pulled over anytime in these last 3 years, I would have gone to jail. DUN DUN DUN!

It started on January 12th, 2005. I was finishing my last semester of school in Seguin and was driving back to campus with my roommate, Angie. We had gone to get something to eat and were driving back through downtown (hahaha!) to head out to our apartment on the lake (see? SPOILED.) Apparently the speed limit in downtown Seguin had recently changed from 35 to 30 on a certain block and I was unaware. I blew through the block going a reckless 35mph and got pulled over by a cop. My car at the time, a BMW (dear sweet lord, I was a JERK), had a built-in radar detector that was going insane, beeping and blooping all over the place. I turned it to silent as the cop approached my window. He gave me a warning, said the speed limit had actually just changed that day and he was just hanging out, pulling people over so they would notice. Bullet dodged.

The next morning, I'm waiting for Angie to get ready to go to class. She is running around the apartment, alternately blow-drying her hair and playing with her dog, while I am standing at the front door screaming about how if she makes me late for class one more time she can find a new ride or she can truck her snail-paced ass into town DO YOU HEAR ME ANGIE because I am SO not kidding this year.

5 minuites after class starts she runs downstairs and flys into my car and we take off. Going 75mph down a country road. Radar detector is still on silent from the night before. Had I not been screaming at her to get ready and hurry up and get in the car NOW I am confident that I would not have overlooked this. That radar detector was my lifesaver. Except on January 13th, 2005.

The State Trooper that greeted me when I rolled down my window was none too pleased and didn't even crack a smile while we tried so desperately to flirt our way out of the ticket. He tossed the signed slip in at me, tipped his hat and strolled back to his car. In classic "if I don't see it, it doesn't exist" Cheryl fashion, I tossed the ticket into the backseat and screamed at my roommate the whole way to campus.

My court date for the ticket was scheduled for the same date as my senior thesis presentation so I never went to take care of it, and then let my friends talk me into the idea that since I was graduating soon and leaving town for good anyway, why would I pay the fee? Just go back to Houston and forget about it. So you get a warrant? You'll be fine - they don't transfer from county to county.

Um, about that...

Thanks to some good friends in the law enforcement field (thanks for never arresting me, guys!), I now know that YES warrants do transfer within counties and YES I would very much go to jail if I ever got pulled over for something as small as a burnt-out tailight if they ran my license and found out I was WANTED in Guadalupe County.

I'm too pretty for jail.

I have driven scared for 3 and a half years, people. THREE AND A HALF YEARS!

So finally, today, I took care of my warrant. Over the phone. Paid in full. Gone. AND the nice court lady took off some lame charge for failure to show insurance, which I totally had then.


It feels good to be legal again.

I'm thinking I will celebrate by doing some drugs and drinking a bottle of champagne in public, while jumping off a cop car. You know, since clearly I am UNTOUCHABLE.

**Just kidding, Angie.


Sorrelle said...

you are too much. repeat after me...dooce is a modern girl blog muse!!! ha ha. That is crazy girl!!!

Z's Mom said...

That is too funny...

Glad you're legal again!

Thanks for stopping by my blog yesterday! :)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...