Christmastime is ALMOST here!

Too bad it still feels like its 106 degrees in Houston. I kid you not. This morning, the weatherman said that it would be in the high 80's to low 90's, but because of all the humidity and low (high? Shut up - I'm not a fracking barometer) pressure we are experiencing, it would feel like it was 100+. Living in Houston can most closely be compared to living in a fat football player's armpit for 9 months out of the year. I know. I almost gagged just writing that. TRY LIVING IT.

Seriously, with it not always being even somewhat cooler on Christmas day, it would be hard to remember it's getting close to the holiday season, but for the massive displays that go up in the stores earlier and earlier each year. Not that I'm knockin' it...I love me some Christmastime, but Christmas trees in September (yes, I saw some)? I don't know about all that...

And {this post} directly contradicts that last sentence, whatever, sue me. Chalk it up to actually having a house to decorate and realizing what a huge endeavor that can be - because, really, when it comes to Christmas decorations, go big or go home, bitches - and having enough room (and a trained dog who's proven she won't eat ornaments) to have a LIVE tree that drops pine needles the freaking second you drag it through the door. While more fun because YAY, I get to decorate the house!!, it's also a lot of work because OH RIGHT, we have a big ass house to decorate. Also, I wrote it on November 9th, so I have a whole month to work up into that cheery frenzy again.

I feel like I am getting Scroogier about Christmas by the second, which, woah - not where I was going, nor at all what I was feeling when I started this post, so I should probably just shut this bad boy down now before I say something I know I'll regret like, screw this holiday! I'm not celebrating! Also, no gifts! Humbug! It's the unrelenting heat and knowing that while it's October 8th, as soon as I step out of my air conditioned office and make the 30 yard walk to my air conditioned car, I will have lost 7lbs in water weight, will be drenched in sweat, and possibly dehydrated.

Happy f-ing holidays, y'all.