TV Nights

I like to say that I'm not a big TV person. I like to say that "I don't watch too many TV shows because I have so many other things going on and don't have time." Clearly, I also like to lie a lot. It's not that I don't watch TV often, because I do. I watch TV at the gym when I am working out. If we don't have music playing in the house while we're cooking or cleaning or just hanging out, we have the TV on. We fall asleep regularly to sounds of John Stewart or Stephen Colbert or more recently, the high-pitched chatter of Drinky Crow, of The Drinky Crow Show fame. I say we don't watch much TV because we don't just sit and zone out and go potato on the couch - we multitask while programs are on.

SK and I are loyal to a few shows. We ty to catch our favorites real-time, but pretty much everything else, we just DVR. God Bless DVR. I haven't watched a commercial for Viagra or Cialis in I don't know how long and really, I don't know how I lived without this modern marvel.

One of our favorite shows is LOST (and yes, it deserves all caps, shut up). Have you seen it? If not, then where the hell have you been for the last 4 years?? Seriously, this show is phenomenal. It's successfully both very entertaining and ridiculously frustrating all at the same time, and the episodes feel like puzzles you have to try and solve. Everyone who I talk to about it who has never seen it is like, "isn't it about a magic island that has polar bears and a monster made of smoke and a button?" And to those hilariously stupid sounding questions I say, YES, yes it is. Have any of my questions been answered? Um...not all, but some. And by some I mean like, 2. But I know the writers plan to wrap it all up neatly by the end of the series, which will last 2 more seasons, meaning they have approximately 24-48 (those would be awesomely long seasons) hours to sort all this stuff out. I don't know if i will be able to stand it. It's coming back tonight and I. Am. Stoked.

Also, I watch Grey's Anatomy. I've watched it for 3 (?) years - no clue what season we're in here (what is WITH the time line on that show, by the way??) - and have always been pretty happy with the story lines and characters, until this season. Seriously? Dead Denny ghost sex? I loved Denny, but this season is really ruining that for me. GO AWAY AND BE DEAD.

Since we live so close to a lot of our friends now, we started doing Thursday TV nights. We rotate houses each week and cook dinner and the girls watch Grey's while the guys watch The Office and 30 Rock. How very suburbanite of us, I know. But it's fun and I love spending a weeknight curled up next to my best girlfriends, passing a bottle of wine back and forth while getting totally into a girly TV drama. Thursday nights are easily my favorite night of the work week.

(No?) Thanks to some prodding by Mama Kat, I have also started watching The Bachelor. I have been proud to boast that before last week, I had never seen an episode of the Bachelor or the Bachelorette, and really, I never understood the appeal. 25 girls/guys vying for the love of one sad soul who had to whore themselves out on national television to score dates and "true love?" That actually sounds like it would be pretty entertaining, but I have heard that the perspective suitors are not actually allowed to fight to the death, so boo on that. Grudgingly, I sat down and watched Jason, the decently cute-faced yet TOTALLY HOT-BODIED single dad get down to business with a bunch of ladies that all wanted him to be their future baby-daddy.

Oh. My. God. The show is terrible in ways I had never imagined, but much like a car wreck, I just can't look away. Aside from all the catty bitching and shit-talking, there are some serious head-cases and weirdos.

First, there is Stalker Shannon:

She knows EVERYTHING about Jason, which immediately creeped me out and now I find myself cringing when I see them alone together because I know she is going to spout off some random factoid about him like how she knows what his mom's sister's husband's brother's name is or how she knows Jason flosses his teeth with organically manufactured string from the depths of Brazil and wouldn't you know? She has some right here for him and actually had 7 cases of the stuff delivered to his house, waiting for him when he gets home and she'll totally help him use it and doesn't this prove she loves him? Because SHE SO LOVES HIM. Um...right. She loves him like serial killers love their victims right before they cut out their heart to carry around in a little box with them forever and ever. Gross and scary? Yeah, so is Shannon. Also, her teeth? HUGE.

Meet Sharon:


Sharon, being the responsible adult that she is, gave up "everything" to be here on this show. She quit her job and left her family to come meet a guy she doesn't know in the hopes that he falls desperately in love with her. I don't know about Jason (well, actually I do, because her broke-ass got axed on the first or second show), but to me, especially in today's economy, a person who voluntarily quits a stable job to risk it all on a stranger with no actual back-up plan should said stranger not return the feelings, just SCREAMS mature and solid marriage-material to me. Also, homegirl looked kind of busted the night they all met. Just sayin'.

Oh, Megan:


I cannot WAIT for someone to beat this bitch down. Really, this show would be so much more interesting if they could fight and not be sent home for whoopin' someone's butt.

There was also a girl with vision boards who was like, 47, and some chick that got so wasted on the first night she admitted to being engaged 13 times previous to this experience. Too-tan Natalie went home this week (I love that she got so pissed about it she seriously told Jason to fuck off and then got all huffy that he didn't find her interesting because to reject her is like rejecting your sexuality and you'd totally have to be GOD to do that), as did Sweet Jesus, Don't Hug Me with Your Man-Arms Erica.

I already have favorites (Melissa, Lauren, and possibly Jillian, but I am still undecided about her), which obviously means I will be watching the rest of the season. Sigh. I don't know who Deanna is, but apparently I am supposed to be excited/nervous that she is coming (back?) to "shake things up." Really, I just hope she is scrappy enough to knock Shannon and Megan out of the house forever.

Bachelor, I think I love you, and that's what I was afraid of.

And finally, doesn't Lisa look just like a Who?


I thought so.