Smash Mash

There is a deli in my office building, right down the hall from our suite. It's changed ownership 3 times in the 2.5 years I have been with the company, although the current owners have definitely been there the longest at almost a year.

When they moved in, the "deli" was little more than a cooler of drinks and a rack of candy bars and chips. They served lunch everyday, but it was less than great--usually just a ham sandwich on semi-stale white bread with a wilted lettuce leaf and a packet of mustard and mayo on the side. In the past 6 months, though, they've cleaned house and brought out the big guns. It's a family run place, so I think they must have fired the lame cousins running the joint and decided to recruit Momma to do the cooking.

This place is straight up soul food.

They cook the most amazing things down there. Goodbye gross sandwiches, hello chicken fried steak.

Hello thighs, too.

I have tried to cut back on the number of times I eat there in a week, and have started choosing healthier options. They always have steamed vegetables, they make great salads, and there is usually grilled chicken. Not as exciting as homemade mac 'n cheese, or homemade fried EVERYTHING covered in homemade white gravy, but y' know...

Speaking of exciting, as of late they have tried to spice up the vocabulary in their menu. They e-mail out a menu each morning with the lunch choices for the day. Normally, these came in standard list form. However, in an attempt to be flashy and different, they have apparently busted out the thesaurus to aid them in showcasing the meals of the day.

Just a few gems from the morning e-mails:

Zesty Beef Stroganoff
Seculent Smothered Pork Chops
Lemon-ADE
Mouth watering "pot roast" smothered in carrots and potatoes
Smash Mash Potatoes

There are more than a few things I find just hilarious about these listings. A) Zesty Beef anything makes my stomach lurch. Why is the zest necessary? What are you trying to hide in that stroganoff? B) What is Seculent? C) They list lemonade every day as a drink choice. Why, on April 3rd, was it necessary to make the ADE stand out? I bought it that day just to see. Nothing particularly exceptional about it. Bummer. D) "Pot Roast." Like, maybe it's not really pot roast? Um... E) Smash Mash? I just like to say it.