Imagine if they didn't suck...

Is it just me or is anyone else really pissed that the last 2 weeks have been “Beatles Time” on American Idol?

I am not a huge fan of the show. Honestly, I usually only watch the first few weeks to see the rejects during the tryout tour because really? How can watching a whole bunch of people make complete fools of themselves on national TV not make you feel better about yourself? I don’t care if that’s mean. Someone really needs to tell them they suck so bad before they let them go and look like idiots in front of the cable-watching world.

Friends of mine, if you are thinking about trying out for American Idol, come sing for me first. I promise to be honest and tell you if you’re terrible in the privacy of your own home before you go and humiliate yourself and have someone you don’t know tell you that you blow on Fox. That’s what friends do. You’re welcome.

I LOVE the Beatles. Like, went through a whole phase in junior high when they were the ONLY thing I would listen to, love the Beatles. I even sang “Love Me Do” with 3 of my best friends in front of our 7^th grade English class as part of an oral presentation on the group. Yeah. I was a die-hard fan. I broke out of the obsessive adoration in high school, but still listened to their music and loaded my iPod with them when I got it in college. I carried their White Album with me EVERYWHERE. I burned it for interested friends and had at least 2 copies of it in every car I have ever owned. So yeah, I love them. Doesn't mean I think I sound like them.

I missed out on last weeks Beatle mutilation because, like I said, I don’t watch past the tryouts. I heard that a curly blonde girl rocked “Let It Be,” and that a 17 year-old kid forgot the words to “We Can Work It Out.” Seriously, who’s dumbass idea was it to let these kids (more than a few of which stated they had never even heard the song they were performing until the day they chose it—where the hell have all of you been?? What did your parents listen to??) sing Beatles songs? So wrong on so many levels.

Why would you put a bunch of amateur singers up against songs that are pretty much flawless to begin with? During the tryouts, the judges just kind of always hang their heads when someone comes in and tells them they are about to sing a Whitney Houston or Mariah Carey song, and with good reason—those songs are HARD to get right. The contestant always ends up finishing with, what they think is, great flourish and then they just get a whole lot of sad dog eyes and pouty head shakes from the judges. Why would Beatles night (and 2 of them!!) be better for these people?

With the exception of Kelly Clarkson (because hello—she came out when I was 18), I have never been a fan of the American Idol winners. I think they are mediocre at best. Last night totally proved that to me with this group. Who country-fys “You’ve Got To Hide Your Love Away?” C’mon now…