Little Miss LoJack

Baby Ryan was born Tuesday, February 26^th at 7am. She weighed 8lb 12oz (holy shit, Deb) and was 21in. long.

We have a niece!

Technically, SK has a niece and I can play almost-aunt for now, but really? I just call her my niece.

And I think she is beautiful.

And I held her.

And she farted her first little fart on me.

!!!!

Seriously, it was the cutest little toot I have ever heard. Clearly, she is super comfortable with me.

It’s no secret that babies make me uncomfortable. I have a lot of cousins and have baby sat for more than a few little kids in my lifetime, but I have never really been around newborns. Sure, I have held them, sitting down with my mom or their mom sitting right next to me, breathing down my neck, making sure I don’t let the baby’s head fall off or something. Hi, PRESSURE.

Until Tuesday night I have never been handed a baby knowing full well that the one doing the hand off completely trusts that I will not drop her child or break it. It was wild!

And who would have thought? I didn’t drop her, smack her head into anything, or trip and fall baby-first into the hard hospital floor. She was actually relaxed enough that she FARTED on me.

We’re going to be great buds.

The happy family

And here is a picture of Deb and Wil, pre-Ryan. Well, kind of. Ryan is there, but she is just a bump and is kind of hidden by Deb’s pretty flowers. Hi Ryan ;)

By the way, Deb is probably the biggest BADASS I know. She was induced on Monday morning, had contractions all day and was finally given the epidural at about 7:30pm that night, which she said rocked. Apparently, though, at about 3am Tuesday morning, the epidural pump STOPPED WORKING.

Oh. My. God.

Not having delivered a baby before, she thought maybe the pain was normal…? She kept telling her nurses and doctor that she was in A LOT of pain, and they kept telling her to push her little button to keep the drugs flowing. She kept hitting the button, nothing happened, and by the time her doctor realized what the problem was, it was too late to give her more meds.

Oh. My. God.

To all you non-epidural needing people (men) out there, this means she delivered an 8lb. 12oz. child WITHOUT ANY PAIN MEDICATION.

Oh. My. GOD!

But there she is, smiling in spite of it all, happy to be holding her precious little daughter in her arms.

Seriously though, OH MY GOD.

P.S.: Did you know that babies have sensors on them in the hospital? Ded showed me Ryan’s belly button (which, not gonna lie, almost made me gag) and attached to the clamp that is holding her umbilical cord shut (blech), is a big green thing. I was all, wtf? And Deb was all, it’s a sensor and if anyone, even us, takes her beyond a certain point in the hospital, the whole thing goes into lock-down. And SK was all, dude they so totally just LoJacked your baby.