September 3, 2008

Writer's Workshop Wednesday

Go HERE and play! I read her blog every day, but I didn't participate last week which means I am 1 homework assignment behind. It's cool...I was always a bit of a rebel anyway.

Ok, that's a HUGE lie. I am actually quietly freaking out over here about the fact that I am a homework assignment behind. BEHIND! I was such a dork in school that I did extra credit work because I thought it was FUN. Yeah yeah, make your jokes...I'm ashamed of me too. Fortunately, I am cool (lazy?) enough now that I am going to accept this and move on. I'll consider myself a new student, which means this would be my first real assignment anyway. SO THERE.

Letter to a 10 Year-Old Me

Dear Cheryl Ann,

You don’t know me yet, but you will. I’m 25 year-old you, which I’m sure is just blowing your mind right now, but we’ve always been one to catch on to concepts easily, so just go with me here. I’m here to tell you that while we’re not President of the United States (yet…? If this is still an aspiration of yours when you’re 18, I will caution you to probably not do anything in college but sit on your bed – alone – and do all of your homework…those tabloid people dig EVERYTHING up. Definitely don’t pledge Gamma.), we’re still kicking some major ass in this world!

Some tips for you:

1. You will be forced to go on a shopping trip with Dad right before 7th grade starts because Mom is out of town. Sounds fun, right? You KNOW he will buy you anything you want, and he does, so get excited about that. Problem is, you have absolutely NO TASTE at this point in our life, and you end up buying 3 striped XL Unionbay shirts in different colors. Devastatingly tragic. Please browse through a few fashion magazines before you embark on said shopping trip. You have a few years still to prepare. Also, take this shopping trip as a sign that Dad might be a little color blind. Be sensitive to this for the rest of our life.

2. You have wasted approximately 2 years of our life trying desperately to straighten out our hair. It’s got a lot of natural wave that activates at the slightest mention of humidity or rain. Let the hair run free…it’s not worth trying to catch up, and that guy you will like in your Chemistry class in 10th grade? He prefers curly hair anyway.

3. Be nicer to girls. They’ll be your biggest supporters and greatest allies in the issues we face later on. Try to learn now how to develop relationships with them—this will help later.

4. Start asking NOW to begin shaving our legs before 7th grade starts. Trust me on this. You might not care now, but if you don’t begin putting the pressure on to do this before you start Jr. High, you will be called all kinds of names due to the hairy legs. If you don’t get annoyingly persistent about it now, the parents won’t let you shave until after 7th grade is over, by which time the nicknames will be set in stone.

5. In the name of Jesus H. Christ, please appreciate the trip to Scotland we’ll take in 3 years. No, we’re not moving there, so quit the whining about how the “Coke tastes different” there, and how “pigeon is on the menu!” It’s a delicacy in many countries, you uncultured brat. Also, try a little harder to score some wine while you’re there or possibly some Scottish whiskey, you square.

6. We will experience the greatest heartbreak of our life (thus far—as for 25.5 and beyond, I can’t say yet) at 15. October 3rd is going to be a day that you’ll hate for a very long time. We move to Houston on October 3rd, 1998. This is going to hurt more than anything you’ve ever experienced before and honestly, I don’t know how to make it better for you, even now. Trust me, though, when I tell you that the parents didn’t do this TO us. They did it FOR us, and you have to try not to hate them for it. Our friends in California are still friends of ours today! All of them! Do your best to enjoy your time with them in the next 5 years and be grateful everyday for a group of wonderful people that love us and will miss us just as much as we miss them. Instead of shutting Texas out and mourning our life in California, be friendly. Despite the moodiness and bitchiness you throw around (which is not a good look for you, by the way), we made some amazing friends that probably would have been at our side earlier were it not for the perpetual death-ray glares we shot at everyone for a year. Know that you will get through this. Know that Mom and Dad do understand, and they didn’t mean to hurt us. Know that this is a place you’ll eventually grow to love, and it’s ok to let it become a part of you. Also know that even 10 years after the fact, the thought of the move still sometimes makes us cry, and that’s ok too.

7. Don’t stress out so much about finding a job when you graduate – we find an awesome one in the IT field, and you’ll love it. Mostly.

8. Your money-saving issue? You know, how you CAN’T? Yeah…that never changes.

9. You’re going to join a sorority. Don’t scream. You actually have fun.




Rachel said...

Talk about cool yours!!! I too visit Mama Kat's every day; she was my inspiration for starting one...she is soo damn funny!
Funny thing is I am turning 31 and still have no idea what I want to do with my life...I mean professionally, something to give me satisfaction!
I'll be stopping by your blog to check you out!

Rachel said...

BTW I put you on my blog roll so I can read you daily; hope you don't mind!

Mama's Losin' It said...

We're so fragile when we're little like that. I think a move would have devestated me as well. I can't believe you're still friends with your old friends from California!! That's awesome.

Your post had me smiling...very funny!

leezee52 said...

Thanks so much for visiting me on my special day…I could hardly sleep the night before I was so excited!

Lee :)

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...